Had a discussion today with a coworker who had observed me walking through a door, then holding it open for a woman before walking through it first. He called me all kind of uncourteous.

Here is the reason:

If I hold the door for a lady and she goes through first, I’ll be behind her. If we then share a stretch of the way, I will be constantly following her. I am one scary looking dude, so the entire time she’ll feel the threat of me looming behind her and followinf her.

If on the other hand, I hold the door so that she can follow me through, I’m still being nice. However now I’m walking in front of her going my way. Since she is the one following (or not), I am no longer perceived as a potential threat.

So ladies, when a man smiles and walks out in front of you, he’s not trying to be uncourteous. On the contrary, he may just be making an effort to make you feel at ease and safe.

So guys, think about how you come across. You might think you are being courteous. In reality you are maximising the perceived threat.