Dating to marry

biteheavy:

so lately i’ve been deep in thought about the concept of dating to marry and the current state of my relationship. i’d never really given marriage and kids much thought before because it seemed like even the possibility of such things was very far away.

but then i turned 24, and i see all these…

Ok, then here it goes:

  1. Life Stages are Stereo-Types and therefore inherently off To let someone else decide/suggest what you should be doing or feeling at this “stage” of your life.

  2. What you (or anyone) wants changes about every once every often You think now you want to get married some day. Wait a week or two and you will hate the thought. On the other hand your bf claims to never want kids or get married. Believe you me, between now and when you turn old and grey, that will change at least a dozen times.

  3. Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain… File under lyrical reminiscence (you will hear this song frequently played at the old folks home 😊). Is there anyone that really thinks that dropping a good thing because it might end some day? Are you serious? Nothing lasts forever enjoy it while it lasts.

  4. Dating with a purpose Are you serious? This is 2014 not 1014. It’s OK to be goal oriented, but it’s silly to subjugate your heart to your goals. It’s your goals that should follow your heart, not the other way around!

  5. Staying coupled because you fear being single… …is something you can do if you are 94 and not 24. And even then that’s probably among the worst reasons for staying with somebody.

  6. What’s the point “they date to marry and if it’s not a possibility, what’s the point” whoever this friend is, don’t you ever listen to her. The point is to LIVE! To live, learn, experience, feel, fail, succeed, try, laugh, cry and all the other stuff that makes us more than a waste of oxygen.

  7. You never know what the future brings! “when you can no longer stand the fact that you don’t have a future with him” sounds deep, but it really is utter bollocks.

  8. You do NOT have a track record You are 24 years old, you are barely out of your diapers. When you had three dozen serious (i.e. longer than 6 months) relationships, then maybe you have the beginning of a start of a track record. Until then please refer to #7 and enjoy the uncertainty.

Now if on the other hand you are simply doubting your relationship, because you find you fell out of love, then that’s different. Leave now!

The main point is basically that you should basically just enjoy things as they go and not think about getting married at all. Marriage happens or it doesn’t. You might find the right person, or you might not. You might have children or not. You might even marry and then find out it was a mistake. You might then get divorced and find out that that was a mistake. You might…

Heck ANYTHING might happen and you will not know what it will be until it has happened. And that is actually a good thing. So take life as it comes and enjoy it. That’s actually the point of living to begin with.